Pawn Stars (get it? like porn but different)

This History Channel generally does pretty nice work.  I mean, we have all found ourselves on a hungover Saturday deeply entrenched in a JFK conspiracy marathon or something of the sorts.  Am I wrong, no?  The good folks at the HC realllly hit it out of the park with their original series, 'Pawn Stars.'  A reality show that cronicles the daily activities at the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop a 24-hour family business operated by patriarch Richard Harrison, his son Rick Harrison (who opened the shop with his father in 1988), and Rick's son Corey, who has worked there since childhood, and who is being groomed to one day take over the shop (a classic rip from Wiki, yes).

There are many reasons why I enjoy this show so much, but I'll just lay out a few for you right here...

1)  The Rip Off

Most of the deals which they show on the program are negotiated by Rick.  Rick is a relentless negoatiator.  He always gets his deal and he always gets it for cheaper than what the seller wants....always.  I love how they always do a little pre-deal interview with the seller and they tell the camera how much money they want for their items.  It's laughable to see these jamokes walk away with a fistful of quarters when just moments ago they had visions of wiping their asses with twenty dollar bills.

2) The Experts

Now my boys at the shop are smart, but they don't know everything.  A lot of times they will call in an expert to to appraise the pieces before they are prepared to make an offer to the seller.  Rick will look at an item and say, "I know a guy who is an expert in....said item."  Now it has become abundantly clear to me that they keep these guys on retainer and they are trained to lowball the prices (of course this is a lead in to the rip off).  But I just love how these foot soldiers show up from their jobs at the local museums with bags of magnifying glasses and tout their expertise.  Although I will say I am jealous of anyone who gets to use a magnifying glass in their everyday job.  The best expert I ever saw was a magician they brought in to look at some Houdini handcuffs.  Seriously, would you trust this guy to appraise the monetary value of history?

3) The Old Man

Talk about a salty crusty old guy.  Here's the thing...he's only like 68 years old but he looks like he is 96.  I can't blame him though.  Here is a snippet from his bio; "after serving in the U.S. Navy and losing a million dollars in the real estate market, Richard Harrison uprooted his family and moved to Las Vegas in pursuit of a fresh start."  Who moves their family to Las Vegas for a fresh start?!  Pretty sure if my old man moved us to Las Vegas after losing the nest egg in a sour real estate deal my mom would have chopped his noots off.  Lucky for us, though, the droopy eyed old man hit it big in the pawn world.  

 P.S. Does the Old Man not look like Droopy or what?